Only the 'F*ck Yes' Decisions Deserve a Yes

A few years ago I read a piece on dating titled “F*ck Yes or No,” in which the author made the case for removing the grey areas of dating.

The idea is that you should be saying f*ck yes to dating someone, or you shouldn’t be dating him or her. While I took this advice to heart, I also began to apply the theory to other areas of my life. If I wanted to change the course of my life, or move forward in a new direction, I would need to be inspired to say f*ck yes to this new endeavor. No longer would I wait and see or proceed with caution. I put two feet in each door that opened knowing my intuition would guide me past any ambiguity and into the light.

Today there are more options and choices to make than ever. You are confronted by hundreds of potential mates on dating apps, thousands of job opportunities online, and even the question “What should I eat for lunch?” can spark indecision (psychologist Barry Schwartz calls it “The Paradox of Choice”). By focusing on certain feelings and your gut instinct, you will train your mind to differentiate between a f*ck yes and a yes, maybe, or no.

Feel All of the Feels

You know the feeling. Some describe it as butterflies or a natural high, and it tends to accompany a new adventure, love interest, or promotion at work. A f*ck yes will engender feelings that give you courage while simultaneously making you feel at peace. By making a f*ck yes decision you will feel vulnerable in your path forward. Vulnerability creates the space to learn from the outcome of your choices as opposed to fear which pushes you toward safety and making decisions that limit your growth. The hardest advice I have taken is not to feel the pain of fear unless the fear is realized. Use the momentum of these f*ck yes feelings and take ownership of your next move. It will feel surprisingly simple to narrow down choices without the validation of others when you focus on the answer to “f*ck yes or no?”

Go With Your Gut, But Use Your Head

As a Laguna Beach native, I can proudly quote Lauren Conrad on this piece of advice. Ever since she said “go with your gut, but use your head” on her reality show “The Hills,” I have followed this advice, relying not only on my instincts but also any relevant information. Sometimes acting on a f*ck yes feeling makes it difficult to be completely informed. We go on our gut rather than careful assessment of the situation. A fine line exists between assessing a situation and overthinking, but if a gut feeling exists and the pros and cons lean most heavily to pro, you are ready to act. 

Serve Yourself

A f*ck yes decision for you may be a totally wrong decision for someone else. As you make a decision, take time to reflect on your intention. Your answer should be in accordance to what you value most and how you aim to live your best life. You can apply f*ck yes or no decisions as you take on new challenges but also as you simplify and get rid of jobs, activities, and people that don't serve you. When we slow down and take time to understand our motivations, decisions, and actions, we feel what repercussions our each and every move has. Use these choices to choose your own path and empower yourself to say f*ck yes or no to life!

Photo by Ali Kaukas


Cameron cler

Cameron Cler is traveler at heart, obsessed with seeing the world and discovering ways to contribute to positive global change. As a registered yoga teacher, she balances her constant travel and work in the startup world by channeling her inner yogi and welcoming peace in chaotic moments. Her passion is cultivating creativity and inspiration whil...READ MORE