You may feel your gusto slowly beginning to fade away, and maybe you desperately try to fight it, or you resign to your ultimate failure. There’s always next year, right?
STOP. Let’s hit the reset button and think of a new way to charge up those goals and have them feeing fresh and snazzy in no time! By using the Desire Map goal setting method, I believe that you are much more likely to succeed this time around! Why? Because it’s not about the goal, it’s about the feeling the goal provides! Let me explain…
A couple months ago I introduced the Desire Map book by Danielle Laporte as a new series on YNON dedicated to the Desire Map 101. As a Desire Map Facilitator to women in search of feeling good and living their best lives, I knew that this goal setting technique would resonate with the readers here, and I was right! Now that it’s the new year, I want to take a moment to refresh our unique goal setting strategy and perhaps reset, realign, or completely overhaul your New Year’s goals with a brief overview of Desire Mapping.
I recently did a Vision Boarding Workshop inspired by the Desire Map, and as I was explaining the concept to one of the ladies, I realized that something clicked. She said, “What I have been doing for my goal setting just isn’t quite working, but this really sounds like something that makes sense!” I could see the wheels turning in her mind, the ah-ha moment beaming across her face as radiant light. She could see the other side. She could f e e l what her dreams would feel like. And it was feeling good!
So here’s the basic premise, the Desire Map is all about how you want to feel. In Danielle’s theory, we chase goals and find ourselves often unsatisfied when we get there and already reaching for the next new thing, OR we totally give up before we even finish, OR we never start at all because goal setting sets you up for failure and commitment, and that’s just plain scary. But what if you focused on the feeling that the goal provided rather than the goal itself? What if you thought first about how you want to feel every single day, and then thought about what you would have to do, have, and become to feel that way? That’s Desire Mapping!
You’re probably thinking ok, but how do I put this into practice for my current Resolutions? Easy!
Step 1: Analyze your current goals for the New Year, and think, “Why did I set these goals?” I want you to think about the real motivation behind the goal. For example, if a goal is to lose 50 pounds, your first reaction might be to write, “Because I want to be skinny,” but in actuality, maybe the reason you want to lose weight is because you want to feel acceptance and love. Maybe those are a part of your Core Desired Feelings (or how you want to feel every day on a soul level).
Step 2: Once you have analyzed why you made the New Year’s goals that you did, scratch off any that don’t light you up. That feel extremely external rather internal. That when you think about why you’re doing it, it doesn’t actually resonate with you; it feels hollow. No empty visions here, please!
Step 3: Feelings. Now that you’ve discovered some why’s and gotten rid of the empty goals that don’t feed your soul, think about how you want to feel every s i n g l e day. Begin to brainstorm and write down words that describe how you want to feel. Stir your mind by asking questions like, how do I want to feel when I go to bed on Sunday night? How do I want to feel waking up on a Tuesday morning? How do I want to feel when people ask me what I do for a living? How do I want to feel deep deep down?
Bliss. Acceptance. Love. Radiant Joy. Happy Calmness. Whatever feels good. Write it down. Narrow it down to about 3-5 words/short phrases and now you can build your goals around those feelings. This is how you bring about your Core Desired Feelings! What goals will help you feel this way every day? By understanding how you want to feel, you are better able to set goals that align with you truly are and that will bring you lasting joy and contentment.
This is the Desire Map in a nut shell! Of course there is an ENTIRE workbook of coaching exercises and inspiration to really narrow down your Core Desired Feelings and set Goals With Soul that truly speak to your heart, but hopefully this drive-by lesson will have you feeling inspired to reset your New Year’s goals or completely redesign your goal setting strategizing moving forward.
To shop all things Desire Map including the book, Click Here.
If you would like to experience the total transformational experience of Desire Mapping, then please feel free to reach out to me as I am currently taking 2016 clients for 1:1 life coaching as a Licensed Desire Map Facilitator. The program is 7 weeks, meeting once a week virtually.
For more information, go to alyssakuzins.com/coaching. Please note that Level 2 Goals with Soul is available only to those who have completed Level 1 Core Desired Feelings.