I don’t mean how do you want to feel on a superficial level, but how do you want to feel deep down, in your soul, at your core, your truth. What feelings call to you from that deeper place?
When you go to bed Sunday night. When you go on vacation. After you make love. When you walk into your home after a day of work. When you reach a goal. When you wake up.
How. Do. You. Want. To. Feel?
In The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals With Soul, written for us by the goddess herself, Danielle Laporte, we call these feelings our Core Desired Feelings. And these are some juicy feelings. With these feelings you are giving words perhaps more power than you ever have. They act as your guiding post, your compass. They tell you what to wear, what gifts to buy, what hairstyle suits you (pink hair makes you feel free? Then do it.) They guide you in choosing your friends, your career, your home, and your car. Hell, they help you decide to buy fresh flowers for yourself because that just makes you feel all kinds of good.
Let me give some examples. My Core Desired Feelings are Light, Freedom, Aligned, Abundant, and Creative. So as I picked the colors for my home décor, I really thought about how I could decorate to help me feel my CDFs when I walked in the door and plunked down on the couch. So I chose two pastel wall shades of pale grey and sky blue to keep me feeling Light, but I threw in a pop of bright orange and pink pillows to keep my Creative juices flowing. In terms of what I mostly wear, I buy long, whimsical sundresses because they make me feel Free.
Furthermore, Danielle offers up the idea that we have goals backwards. That instead of focusing on the goal itself, we ought to focus on how we want to feel when we get there and how we want to feel along the journey, as well. She paints the picture that so many of us have felt before: we reach a goal, but when we get there it doesn’t feel as shiny and amazing as we thought. We get the dream job but then are immediately, almost frantically, thinking about how we can get promoted, what’s next?! We aren’t really in the present celebrating. Sound familiar?
“I ONLY WANT TO HIT MY TARGETS IF THE AIMING AND THE HITTING BOTH FEEL GOOD.”-Danielle Laporte, The Desire Map
To some, this feelings practice may sound selfish, silly even, but there will always be cynics, and in Desire Map world, we know better. We know that feeling good is vital. If something doesn’t feel good, then what’s the point? Really?
So how do we unlock these Core Desired Feelings? The Desire Map book uses several practices, such as gratitude exercises to help reveal your CDFs at the end of the whole process. This journey can be taken alone at your own speed, such as one wicked fast weekend of holing up to yourself, versus a whole month of gentle reflection. Or this passage can be done with a Licensed Desire Map Facilitator, such as myself, during a workshop, retreat, or 1:1 coaching (virtual or in-person).
I happen to help women by performing all three of the latter choices, and I am currently taking modern goddess clients who are ready to take a journey!
“THE ESSENCE OF YOUR DESIRE IS A FEELING” – Danielle Laporte, The Desire Map
This is the first blog post of a new YNON monthly series, The Desire Map 101, where I hope to educate, inform, and inspire you in all things Desire Map and feeling good! Please feel free to comment below and tell me about your experiences with the Desire Map! How do you desire to feel?